Attention ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking! Welcome aboard JeffCOM flight #13. You should be at least 18 years of age to board the aircraft as we will be flying to THE DARK SIDE of my personality. Our time enroute will be short. However if this is a connecting flight via AOL or a 28.8 modem, our flight time will be 3 weeks, 4 days, 7 hours, 43 min and 23 seconds. For your protection, the flight attendants recommend you grab your favorite brew as it should help to make the flight more enjoyable. In the unlikely event of an over water evacuation, grab the nearest flight attendant, as she will serve as your personal flotation device. So fasten your seatbelts and make sure all tray tables and seat backs are in their full, upright, and locked position. Hang on to your ass, we're ready for takeoff!
If your not 18 and
already in your seat, your aircraft is located just off the right wing-so get
out now!
